Invisible Love


For the last year and half or so, I’ve written about what I know and what I’ve learned and what I’m still learning about God and about Jesus. I’ve only had a blog for that period of time, but I became a Christian a long time before that, and I guess, when I first started, I thought that I could encourage people to look at God in a different way. I was hoping to take some head knowledge about Scripture and couple it with many of the truths I’ve internalized going through life. I know I’m not extraordinary in that regard. But, I figured, if my primary objective was to redirect people to God, then that would be sufficient. Somehow, many of my writings were centered around God’s Love. I came at it from different angles and intellectually, I believe everything I wrote.  Yet, from a personal standpoint, I don’t have a consistent heart connection to that Love. I don’t feel it inherently 100% of the time. It’s probably because, if you think about it, I’m advocating belief in an invisible love. I tell others about it and I’ve bet everything on it, but  because this is a spiritual concept, it won’t have the tangibility that I am accustomed to as a human. I can point to the Scriptures as proof or creation. I can remember every good thing and acknowledge it came from heaven. I can even witness miracles, but there’s still so much time on earth that He just doesn’t seem touchable or present like I’m used to in other human relationships.  It’s not like I can definitively “prove” God’s Love even with all these things. (Not that He needs me to)  There are definite, undeniable times His Love came in loud and clear. I would never say that He hasn’t loved me or loves me. What I’m trying to express is that I understand He Loves but because I’m still so mortal, I look at His Love or for His Love with unspiritual eyes at different points in my life. Maybe, you never do. You might be dialed in and never struggle with this. I’m not expressing myself very well so I sound kind of blasphemous. (It’s a good thing nobody really reads this blog) I’m not trying to take away from God the reality of His Love. I’m only writing out loud the thoughts that I have when I want so much to experience Him in a way that I know in human relationships. I’m sure that this is the reason,  I’ve tried to find my home and my joy in human love. I wanted that more than His and I haven’t been able to connect with Him like that.  Person to person love, is so here and now. It’s beautiful and feels fulfilling. But, He’s not going to acquiesce to my desire for that kind of limited interaction. His Love doesn’t demonstrate itself in human terms and there are no parameters that inhibit it’s manifestation. I’ve decided, I have to expand my heart and mind.  I’m not sure how I’ll get there. I’m  going to pray and rely on His help because I want to mature spiritually in order to see Invisible Love.

If Jesus is the proof of God’s Love. John 3:16 and Jesus is one with God, then we can see God in Jesus.
“He(Jesus) is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.” Colossians 1:15

I’ll start here and “see” where He takes me.

Mystery of God

Science is always in discovery mode, and humanity needs that because science is knowledge. The only issue is that humans are limited in their capability to capture knowledge in every arena of science. So, the gaps are filled with theory until we obtain the necessary information. Science, then is never completely informed, definitive and authoritative in all things. Basically, it’s comprehensively  imperfect since it cannot answer all scientific questions even though it’s constantly learning.  From a logical standpoint, it seems unreasonable to believe then, that science can  disprove a perfect God. In fact, I think it actually introduces the concept of Him, even more. For ex. if you only decided to study a typical  human cell for your whole career you’d never finish collecting and researching all the data. Remember this in Biology:
Plasma membrane Channels/pores, nucleus, DNA, Endoplasmic reticulum, ribosomes, golgi complex,Mitochondrion, vesicles, vacuoles, Lysosomes, Peroxisomes etc. (This is an aside, believing that life is a random chance occurrence causes us to have to compromise our intelligence when we examine cells. We have to put logic aside to be able to ascribe all the organelles’ functions to the idea that they all just happened to evolutionize  in the most complimentary way to allow the cell to function the way it does.) Anyway, what if you then chose to drill down and only pursue the study of the mitochondria? The study of that one organelle would fascinate, challenge and keep you busy until you retired. Even then,  you wouldn’t have exhausted all the science behind it. Go look up mitochondria, it’ll blow your mind.  For biologists today, there’s still so many unanswered questions and so, there’s always hypothesis. I think, science is necessary to acquire knowledge but I also believe it reveals more of the truth of God and yet doesn’t require us to suspend our faith. It can supplement our belief in Him and also help us have a balanced understanding of life. Still, He is the Creator and the created will never fully understand His mystery.

“No, we declare God’s wisdom, a mystery that has been hidden and that God destined for our glory before time began.” 2 Corinthians 2:7

“the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people.” Colossians 1:26


The End is only the Beginning

I had no idea who Lao Tzu is.  I had to look him up on Wikipedia.  He’s a philosopher of Taoism.  I didn’t now what Taoism is, so I had to look that up. I don’t have the energy to try to understand it.  Basically, it doesn’t really matter.  The saying is right on. Not every ending is painful, but if it is, it is usually not welcome.  Anticipated, maybe, but it is never easy and you probably don’t always see it as a new beginning.  The transition is hard to get through, but somehow, you do it.  Yesterday, I saw this quote:

“So, far you’ve survived 100% of your worst days. You’re doing great.”

Pretty much.  The more of those days you rack up and survive, the greater history you have to look back on and believe you’ll survive this next one.  I wanted to tie all this in with a verse.  The first thing I thought of was the very bad day of Jesus’ crucifixion.  That was a painful end.  For Him and for His family and for all of the people who invested their lives and their faith/future and love into Him and the relationship.  As a human, all they could see in their immediate short sighted view, was that it all ended very badly.  On that day, it was the total and complete defeat of everything they had hoped for.  At that juncture, there wasn’t anyone of those believers, who believed a greater beginning was coming. They were mired in the sadness and the loss.  If they had known with all certainty exactly how it would turn out 3 days later, no one would focused on the pain to the degree that they did.  So, I look at the endings in my life, the especially painful ones, and I am still alive.  I made it through. I wish I hadn’t had to go through, I wish I could have gone around, but I am on the other side.  God recognizes how difficult it is for human heartache.  I am certain this is why, for believers, He provides joy.  Joy is weird.  It isn’t happiness.  I am not even sure I totally understand it. The words used to describe it, cannot actually capture it’s spiritual nature. It isn’t bliss, or glee or gladness.  It’s a product of belief in God’s Love that produces nothing but goodness in our lives regardless of the pain in endings.

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” James 1: 2-3

I don’t consider it pure joy when my life brings hardship.  I hate hardship.  I highly doubt I’ve had pure joy in the middle any pain.  Last night, though, I woke up at a late hour, and I couldn’t go back to sleep.  But in the middle of all the thoughts that were accumulating and all the questions I had, I just randomly thanked God.  I am not super spiritual, especially that late, but somehow my spirit knew that there is joy in even the hardest endings and the hardship of trials. It wasn’t a flood of joy.  It was more of a spark, but it was enough to trigger my gratefulness.  I knew in my soul that He wasn’t hurting me. His objective is never a desire to see us hurt.

“He definitely doesn’t enjoy affliction, making humans suffer.” Lamentations 3:33 CEB

I think that painful endings are like death.  But, in the Scriptures, death is not always the end.  There are so many times that death was overturned and life prevailed. I like this story:

“Soon afterward[a] he went to a town called Nain, and his disciples and a great crowd went with him. 12 As he drew near to the gate of the town, behold, a man who had died was being carried out, the only son of his mother, and she was a widow, and a considerable crowd from the town was with her. 13 And when the Lord saw her, he had compassion on her and said to her, “Do not weep.” 14 Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” 15 And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus[b] gave him to his mother. 16 Fear seized them all, and they glorified God, saying, “A great prophet has arisen among us!” and “God has visited his people!” Luke 7: 11-17

That was about as painful an ending as anyone could experience.  Yet, it transitioned into life. Endings and Death are always capable of becoming Life as long as God involved. The Cross is the epitome of this truth.

I’m going to take these endings, and bury them in Him.  I am going to look at them as if they are seeds with the knowledge that they will bring life in some way.  That is what will be my joy while I am going through the endings.

God bless.

Love Always





Dark Cannot Overtake Light

Dark gets to have its days. Sometimes it overwhelms and overtakes life. It may succeed for awhile, but it won’t always dominate. If it were the ultimate victor, then I would rather go now. It will not win. Even in the deepest dark, it won’t obliterate light. When we’re navigating through the blackest moments, the light is the hope that is lit in someone. It may be you or someone else or both. But it’s never no one. That’s why we haven’t all just given up. It’s also why God has faith in us. He keeps trying to strengthen that light with an Eternal Hope because the chances are great that we will encounter the dark, and it will leave a wake that we have to contend with. We may have a shared darkness or I might have mine and you have yours. I don’t want to deal with mine alone. I imagine you don’t either. So, I’m going to be real with you and say, I have my personal dark days. I’m in them now, but then today, I see the joint darkness that we all have to deal with in some way and I look outside of myself, at human hope and the way it sets off goodness and compassion in the dark, and I am amazed. Yet, as beautiful as that is, God is making every effort to enlighten our hearts and minds to see beyond the temporary blackness. His Light can make ours great, but it’s more than that. He is the Light. As bad as it is, He is always the Light. If I want it, He makes me light also. I believe He does this so I don’t lose hope . If I do, the dark may overtake me. The truth is, dark- has – an – end. God’s Light does not. It can’t because it’s Love and His is never ending.

“In Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:4-5

“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12

Love (Light) Always❤

Thy Will

“Thy will be done…” Matthew 6:10

I don’t think I have ever said this out loud or in my heart to Him and felt 100% resigned every time I said it.  Maybe you never do.  Maybe the beauty of saying this is, despite wanting something else, you are willing to lay it down and submit to His Will because you believe it is all Love. When I look back, there are too many times I fought Him before I laid things down. Even then, I would pick them back up only to have to acquiesce again because my will was harming me.  While I sat at my desk, I lettered these four words and I had to really consider how worshipful they truly are. Anyone who yields to God’s Will in direct violation of their own will because they love and trust Him, is offering worship in advance of any result.  They are saying, no matter what I feel, see, fear, think, wonder, want, I’m going to give way to you and even if I may not want what you want totally or at all, I’ll submit anyway. I don’t have any better example than when Jesus accepted His Father’s Will and obeyed  in that Garden when He was facing the impending pain of the Cross….”yet not my will, but yours be done.” Luke 22:42 So, this is still hard, but I am encouraged that when I do, His Will is to Love me into a Goodness that  protects my life here and will overcome death and I can count on that even though I can’t see it or understand it or desire it.  It’s still true and because it is, my heart can begin to say this and not fight it.

Hillary Scott – Thy Will Lyrics

From the album Love Remains

I’m so confused
I know I heard you loud and clear
So, I followed through
Somehow I ended up here

I don’t wanna think
I may never understand
That my broken heart is a part of your plan
When I try to pray
All I got is hurt and these four words

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you’re good
But this don’t feel good right now
And I know you think
Of things I could never think about

It’s hard to count it all joy
Distracted by the noise
Just trying to make sense
Of all your promises
Sometimes I gotta stop
Remember that you’re God
And I am not

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

Like a child on my knees all that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store

I know you hear me
I know you see me, Lord
Your plans are for me
Goodness you have in store

Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

Like a child on my knees
All that comes to me is
Thy will be done
Thy will be done
Thy will be done

I know you see me
I know you hear me, Lord

Publishing: © 2016 W.B.M. Music Corp. / EKT Publishing, admin. by W.B.M. Music Corp. (SESAC); WB Music Corp. / Thankful For This Music, admin. by WB Music Corp. (ASCAP); Songs of Universal, Inc. / G650 Music/Pure Note Music, admin. by Songs of Universal, Inc. (BMI).

Writer(s): Hillary Scott, Emily Weisband and Bernie Herms

Comparison Steals Joy

It is such an effective thief and I’m the one who allows it. Today, I ushered it in. I was thinking about a new skill I want to master in lettering. Something I’ve been practicing for a short while. I don’t have the muscle memory yet and it’s discouraging. So, I went over to different Instagram accounts and websites of talented letterers, to observe and learn. I bought practice sheets from one of those artists and then I just started comparing myself. Without any hesitation, my joy evaporated. I started doubting and questioning myself. I didn’t even want to keep doing this. Even though, I know better, I just let it runaway with my joy. Comparison of self to others is the epitome of wasted energy. I still feel the vestiges of it in my heart, but I trust Him to restore it in this area.

“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Galatians 6:4-5 The Message

Love Always????  Comparison Video



As a new creation, He proposes to leap over the human side of me and pair up with my willing heart in order to make me supernaturally spiritual. It’s almost crazy to believe that a mortal life can join with the One who created all things, and become like Him. This is exactly what happens if you surrender to His Love. Born anew, He deposits His Spirit in me. So, if His desire and intent is to bring all people to Him and grant them the best future, would they ever live an ordinary, mediocre or average existence with Him? Just the fact that someone decides to respond to His Love and follow an invisible Being is already pretty remarkable. He takes that faith, and He begins to put into play circumstances and opportunities for us to bypass our human nature. If I choose to let Him lead, I start to do and think and say and live in a way that is so unlike me, I, too will be amazed.  He needs my participation, though, and, truthfully, I’ll toggle between my will and His. (and I have, even recently) But- the times, I give in…  Think about this for a minute,•true• forgiveness, repentance, sacrifice, humility, unconditional love, are acts and traits that are not a natural inclination in us. When a follower desires to live this way, He will equip and accomplish miracles. Things that surpass raising the dead. Here’s a verse that will trip you My:

“I tell you the truth, of all who have ever lived, none is greater than John the Baptist. Yet even the least person in the Kingdom of Heaven is greater than he is!” Matt 11:11

Yes, greater than John. Not because of our perception of greatness but because the Love of Jesus is capable of doing spectacular things, big or small. The scale isn’t the point.  It’s the manifestation of Him in Grace and Truth, loving all, even the unlovable, regardless of the outcome. This is truth: I wasn’t made to live a “normal” life.  I’m here to be exceptionally unaverage in the most extraordinary way.  Youtube video.

Please see Squiggly Word Page on Facebook, @squigglyword on Instagram and @squigglyword on Twitter. ?


Oh, and Love Always???

Dark Days

Dark To Light

The air is muffled and Dark
Thousands of leaves block the light
I walk a few feet to leave the trees
And suddenly light surrounds me
A simple meadow lost in the woods
Shining brightly like a hidden jewel
I step back into the cover of the forest
And the light gives way as to a hood
The silence held as if revered
But some footsteps patter by unseen
Almost as if challenging the silent trees
I walk forward to enter that meadow again
And bird song fills the air
Life and Energy show everywhere
Contrasting that of the silent wood
Both just a few steps away
But as different as Night and Day – Sarah Tipton
The contrast between the Dark and the Light is so profound but so necessary. This way neither can be confused with the other.  They are completely distinguishable, especially, spiritually speaking. When I found this quote, though, I wasn’t thinking so much spiritually as I was just about daily life.  If you live long enough, you will experience dark to light and much of the time, back to light.  I don’t think you can truly value the light days until you’ve lived though some dark ones. But then, I thought, can there be light in dark days?  or dark in light days?  I think so. This means that each day can possibly possess darkness and light.  Yet, in order to ensure that the dark isn’t dominant in any given moment, you have to return to spirituality.  Life can be erratic with the light/dark designation, but with Him, each day will absolutely always have Light.
 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” John 1:5
I had to settle into this because this week was leaning heavy toward the dark.  I even had an extremely weird incident occur on social media today that I am still confused about.  It came out of the most left, left field. It compounded the feeling of darkness.  The last week has been hard to navigate through because of the impression I felt of profound darkness.  But, right now, I am not convinced that it is as dark as it seems.
“I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” John 8:12
I am not walking around in a shadowy place where I can’t see and blackness has taken over.  If Jesus is the Light of Life, I have light in my life, without exception.  This is not just a comforting thought.  He is Light for me but He is Light in me.
“You are the light of the world… let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:14-16
I can be light in the way I love.  My Love is Light.  Really, His Love is Light and if I let Him shine in me, I can also reflect that Light.  But I am not just a conduit.  I can take on His Love too when I am convinced of His Love for me.  I’m not always functioning at that level, I’m not that good.  Yet, He has lit me up enough to dissipate darkness at different times. Yesterday was one of those days.  It was a long, hard day, but the light redeemed it when He gave me the ability to demonstrate some of his Love even when I was super tired and I just wanted to go home.  I don’t regret it, even though, I kind of wondered if I was bringing enough light. I have realized that as dark as this week was, it never became pitch black.  None of my days will ever be beyond light because there is always access to the Light of the World and He said:
“For God, who said, “Light shall shine out of darkness,” 2 Corinthians 4:6
Love Always



“I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27

AMEN, Lord.    I get it. I understand. No, Lord. Nothing, not one thing, is too difficult for You. I believe it, because I have already seen what YOU have done in the past. The most recent past and biblical past.  So, I am laying it all on You. I already accepted the gamble on the day I made the decision to follow You. So, I absolutely trust that You have every intention of seeing this thing through and salvaging everything that I am and making it new and making it like You. You know what has occurred and what still has to happen. You have seen it all. I’m asking you to make it right. The things or people that have hindered, and deceived, taken and twisted your words and your intent.  There is a finish to everything that thwarts Your Plan. I would like, at times, to go my own way, but I cannot. I’m convinced that You will complete what you started. I have an express purpose. I will accomplish it by Your Power.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

So, if this is true,  then come do Your work. Satan wants to hold me hostage. But, he has no leverage. I’m free today.  He tries to use people and circumstances, but all things are in Your Hands. So, I’m not going to believe that He has any power over me today or tomorrow or any day he manipulates or charms with words or people, or desires, emotions or any other thing  he works through to achieve his objective. He’s good, no doubt, but You are always greater.  I’m asking for justice. Not because I am worthy.  I’m asking because I need You to step in and be my shield. I’m not in a physical situation that requires physical rescue, but I am in a virtual world where reality is distorted and souls are vulnerable and among those individuals are those who seek to manipulate and who are emotional predators. I’m trying to run a ministry and I’m not equipped to deal with this. I was blindsided.  I’ve recovered,  but I have a feeling, some harder things are yet to come.  Lord, please, listen to Me. I need You to stand up for me. There’s no way I will be able to do this alone.  I’m sinful,  but I’m trying to do what is right and somehow I acquired some adversaries along the way.  I can’t tell if they are just selfish or a vehicle for Satan to exploit. Maybe both. You know. Lord, help me. I love You, and it isn’t good enough,  not at the level you deserve. But, I’m relying on Your Love for me that has borne so much already. Amen, Lord of All, and my best LOVE.  With You, and only You, no one else, is it  Love Always???




Season’s Over

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:” Ecclesiastes 3:1

If you can accept this, you can know when and how to move forward because, this is wisdom from Heaven and He who dwells there,  knows your life schedule. His agenda is Supreme and letting go is the way to free your heart. If you believe and follow Him, He’s going to fulfill His purpose for you. So, holding onto anything that is past it’s expiration date, is only  an internal struggle and won’t affect His Plan unless you forfeit it and decide to go your own way. (This doesn’t mean that what was, wasn’t priceless and essential.  I just know when the season is over it’s over.) Now, personally,  I don’t have a better plan. Mine has always been unstable since it fluctuates with my emotions and my very limited mind. But releasing my agenda is never easy. I’m probably always going to struggle with some version of this.  But, today, was epic. After 6 months of influencing and wrestling and wondering and questioning,  I just let it go. I had to. It was time. I am so very confident that it was the next step. It must have happened overnight, I’m not sure, but I just wasn’t sad to let go and I no longer had faith in it. I could see how futile and unvaluable it was as it robbed me of joy. Then— I saw this on Instagram. I thought,  yes, this is good.  My God is going to take me further and maybe even faster without all that resistance. Plus, everybody will be way better off since I won’t be scuffling to keep what wasn’t meant to be anyway. Epic is a very good word to describe shifts in spiritual matters. And today was Epic.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.” Psalm 138:8