But I was. I was very disappointed and I stopped believing. It was the summer and I was 12 years old. My parents were heavy alcoholics. My dad was a teacher and appeared to be fully functioning, but he would drink at home, drink on the road, and usually spend a significant amount of the weekends at a favorite bar. He was a passive drunk. My mom was a super aggressive, violent, and mean drunk. She was a terrorist to her own kids. I bet she was sober 15% of the time I was growing up. No one wants to hear about all the details. Nowadays, everybody has some story about how they were mistreated. So, I won’t elaborate too much except to say that she beat the &^%$# out of us and tried to poison my two older brothers once. She beat all of us with 2×4 piece of wood, belts, toys, hands and pulled our hair until the scalp separated from the underlying layer. But she especially beat my second to youngest sister. Year after year went on like this. But one year she became pregnant with her 8th baby. (2 miscarriages, and 5 live births) She was 45 yrs old. I was a preteen and I had been going to the private parish school and church close to our house. I prayed and prayed that this pregnancy would change her and that she would be sober permanently. I really didn’t think about the fact that if pregnancy could change her, why didn’t she change after the first 8? But, clearly that never entered my mind. She gave birth to my youngest sister. She made my dad leave my other brothers and sisters home and take her, the baby and I to a hotel. He bought her a ton of liquor. She handed the baby to me and I was responsible for her that weekend until we came home, and eventually for the next 6 or so years. We’d go places and everybody thought it was my kid. Yuck, I’d think. I’m just a kid. This would have been ok, if she had stopped drinking. But the complete opposite happened and I lost my confidence in God. I was disappointed. How did I get from there to here? I’ll have to tell you that story another time. But, just to make it clear, I am not disappointed in God anymore.
Similar Posts
Truth In Love
Truth in Love. It is something that I believe in with every part of my heart. In the past, I have written about Truth and Love. How essential it is for Truth to accompany Love Always. It has to in order for Love to truly be Love since Love is from God and He is…
My Mind Is Elsewhere
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]No “…not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2 This was written in the context of identity. I exist, but I’m hidden in Christ who is in God. Since He is the overarching Spirit of who I am, my mind can now be spiritual. I am no longer bound by human thinking. Even if things present themselves…
How To Save A Life
He isn’t quick to condemn. He is fixated on saving everybody. Every single one. That means he is using all of his resources to reveal the truth to us. I am a witness of this. I lived in a place that is susceptible to earthquakes. After a large, devastating quake, that destroyed various buildings and…
In Him 2
In the previous blog post, I wrote about the challenges that I face in trying to love people after being disappointed or wounded. Outside of Him, it will never happen. In Him, it is difficult but not impossible. If I became a Christian, I took Him on. I decided we live in tandem. He dwells…
Fireworks between Us
I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. PSALM 63:2-4 Oh, ♡ʟᴏʀᴅ♡, You are my Love and Light….
Heart Locket or Lock it
I wrote this back on Aug 11 and posted to Facebook. I still feel it’s true and I still don’t know what I’m doing, LOL: I can’t construct a fail safe system to protect my heart. I can try. I can make every effort to shield it and be the most vigilant gatekeeper ever, but…
Thank you for sharing. My father & brothers were also drunks. My Mother was a saint!
I just located you blog!
Bless you for sharing & I pray your history will give others hope ! I am the lone survivor & God is my Savior! Jesus loves me this I know!!!
Carla
Hi Carla,
I am so glad you found me! I hope that what I am writing will encourage you and anyone else who has been in this situation. Hang in there!
I have daily encouragement posted on Instagram. I try to help and inspire this way! THank you for your words, they mean a lot to me!