This is what it feels like EVERY SINGLE TIME, even after years of running. It’s a mind trick because outside running doesn’t feel nearly as hopeless. At least the landscape changes. I blame my best friend for putting me in this inescapable trap. She got me to agree to run a half marathon 5 years ago and now I can’t give up running. It took too much work to get here. She’s also to blame for my competitiveness. ? Yesterday after 84 years on the machine, a guy starts running on the one next to me. I can’t secretly race him because, he’s in pretty good shape and I can see he’s faster. I’ve already put in some time, but I decide, even if he’s faster, I will outlast him. This is where I can see if I can bring some satisfaction to my life even if so many other things aren’t complying. ? He was all perfect in his stride and no signs of fatigue, but I was all in. I literally will die on this machine before I give up. I almost did, but then after another 84 years, he slowed to a walk and quickly got off. Totally oblivious to all the “Chariots Of Fire” drama going on in my head. So, I think a fair amount of our dissatisfaction, especially with ourselves is firmly tied to competitiveness. You could say it’s comparison, but, seriously, we look at someone else, in any area, career, relationship, looks, finances, success, and we see if they’re competition. If they’re”better” we get all bummed. If you do that a lot, you just become super hard on yourself and eventually discount yourself in every way. That’s how I can be. It’s all rooted in pride. There’s only one race we’re equipped to run. God has given us the capability and the victory. “let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,” Hebrews 12:1 “But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.” 1 Corinthians 15:57
Love Always????