He Is Here

If He did not mean this,  He would not have said it. But He means it. I am not inhabiting a desolate place that is empty, and devoid of life. My life here is not hopeless and bleak. The Presence of Christ makes that impossible. Even if I feel that I’m alone. In verse 20 it states: “On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you.” Why would He say this if it were not true? On the days that I experience loneliness or isolation and I begin to doubt, the question is: Is He with me? It’s either yes or no. And if I believe it is no, than it is because I left. But if I hang on to His Truth even in my most abandoned, deserted moment, I will know He is within me and the landscape can look pretty bad, but I won’t believe it. I merged with Him and His Love and Comfort and Mercy accompanies me wherever I am. In a crowd, or deserted, He won’t leave me. He has never left me.

There have been times, I thought I had to search for Him.  Especially when I suffered a loss. The void deceived me and I felt like I was alone.  So, I strove to find Him because the loneliness was painful. So, I sought Him, but seeking Him does not mean He is not Present. Seeking means I look to Him and in those times, I see Him next to me. He isn’t going to make it difficult to get close. When I am His, how will He not remove any distance that prevents me from feeling, knowing, experiencing His Love as soon as I turn to Him? You know He will and there is zero hesitation. He moves across any divide for anyone at any time they look for Him. But for a believer, He is not far because I am in Him and He is in me. I hope I’m not making it sound as if I think this is easy all the time and that it happens without a lot of effort. I’ve had my walks in the desert and I’ve wanted accompaniment but I also wanted to do what I wanted. I’ve gone in the other direction and distanced myself. He doesn’t want to see me alone when I go off like that. But I have to want the closeness too. It has not been fun during those times. I have been devastated and it did not seem likely that I could ever recover. And I won’t ever without Him. I can’t look to human fulfillment no matter how much it means. His Promise is my remedy because He never left.

Love Always❤❤❤I do no matter what.

If you’ve left comments. Thank you. I read slow these days ?? but I caught up and love the encouragement. It’s invaluable ?

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My Mind Is Elsewhere

No

“…not on earthly things.” Colossians 3:2  This was written in the context of identity. I exist, but I’m hidden in Christ who is in God. Since He is the overarching Spirit of who I am, my mind can now be spiritual. I am no longer bound by human thinking. Even if things present themselves here on earth, things like temptation, suffering, sin, and impossible situations. I am not chained to humanistic views the way I was apart from Christ. I am free to believe, think, pray, love, forgive, speak, hear from His mind which is elevated and not earthly. It is a power meant to help us if we are willing. “The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?”But we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:15-16 NIV.

I wrote this on my Instagram account on 9/22/16. I really believed that I knew what I was talking about. It was easy to convey head knowledge.  But these months later, it is much harder in the face of earthly struggle. Back then, I was happily navigating through social media.  Oblivious to how difficult things would become when my life would blend in with others as I became more involved in the ministry. The pull of the world and what it values as life, is strong and writing a Scripture and expounding on Spiritual principal is so much easier before the challenges come. Now that times have changed, how do I keep faithful to the truth of this verse? It is only possible with Him. I can’t garner enough power within myself. The only way my mind will ever be parked on heavenly things, is if He intervenes.  Right now, my faith is invested in the belief that He will give me the mindset that I cannot foster by myself.  I need that divine help because the battle intensified. The mind and heart have to be in the same heavenly place.  But sometimes the heart diverts the mind to the things that are part of the mist of the temporary. It isn’t like I am super spiritual and I can avert my heart from things that are desirable. It also isn’t as if He doesn’t want to bless us here. But, I can’t invest my mind or heart in those things first. So, giving over is the key. Isn’t that what I did when I surrendered to Him? That is the reason this verse applies: “you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”Colossians 3:3-4  Now, 5 months later, I’m learning at a heart level what I once knew in principal. Surrender was only the beginning. What comes after is really the only way I will ever have a spiritual mind.  Hebrews 8:10 “For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my laws into their minds, and write them on their hearts, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”  He will be my mind.  “For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The LORD is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me?’”  Hebrews 13:5-6  I  am not alone. He has taken the driver’s seat. I have surrendered, given my heart over, heard His words of Love and now He resets my mind.

Love Always ???

 

Tell Me

I want to know. I want to hear You say it.  When You tell Me, I know it’s true. You send Me messages that are tailored and unique to Me. I’ve heard them and I’ve seen them.  But I never get tired of receiving them. I’ve been learning more about You. This morning I read about Your Goodness. You sent Me that book, The Real God. Inside, I have found that You want to be known. Your Goodness is one way You show Yourself. You are Good. You are generous in your Goodness. Not because of Me, but because of You. And even if life is dark sometimes, You are still Good. I’m surrounded by Your Love notes of Good. Yesterday, driving in that icy snow, I was afraid. It was the worst driving conditions I’ve experienced since You put Me here. I did not think I’d  make it home without having an accident. But You’re Good and You helped Me everytime I slid or headed towards the edge or almost drove the wrong way.  I’m sorry for the swear words. As I’m writing this, that drive is so much like my walk with You. I’m completely reliant on You to send me directions and guide me because I am not good with maps. So, I definitely need to hear from You. The truth about how much You love Me and won’t ever fail Me. Morning time would be great, but anytime is good. I’m going to look for You today when I’m out on errands and when I’m at the gym. I’ll pay attention to see what You’re saying. I’ll try not to forget. I don’t want to just live in those things as if You aren’t talking. If I listen,  I’ll hear Your Love and I will experience Your Love. Then wherever I am, I can be like You and let Your Love guide Me. This way someone else can hear of Your Unfailing Love too. Thank You for being Fail Proof, Amen.

Love Always???

My Knight

The Karate Kid wasn’t high art. But it is so much fun to watch. I haven’t seen it in a long time but the song Glory of Love from the soundtrack, just came into my mind when I was thinking of the shift in my heart to give Jesus the primary spot in it. I displaced Him for a few months even though I would not admit it. I wrote earlier, that He made Himself known after a period of 4 weeks. At the place where I was at a standstill. He came like a Knight. To save the day. And this song reminded me of Him. He wouldn’t sing it in its entirety because parts are not applicable to Him. But if I broke it up between Me and Him, it actually makes sense.  Like this:

HIM:

Tonight it’s very clear

As we’re both standing here

There’s so many things I want to say

I will always love you

I would never leave you alone

ME:

Sometimes I just forget

Say things I might regret

It breaks my heart to see you hurt

I don’t wanna lose you

I could never make it alone

HIM:

I am a man who will fight for your honor

I’ll be the hero you’re dreaming of

We’ll live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

ME:

You’ll keep me standing tall

You’ll help me through it all

I’m always strong when you’re beside me

I have always needed you

I could never make it alone

HIM:

I am a man who will fight for your honor

I’ll be the hero you’ve been dreaming of

We’ll live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

Just like a knight in shining armor

From a long time ago

Just in time I will save the day

Take you to my castle far away

I am a man who will fight for your honor

I’ll be the hero you’re dreaming of

We’re gonna live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love

We’ll live forever

Knowing together that we

Did it all for the glory of love”

He has fought for Me. Over and over and He refuses to let go. He isn’t afraid and He claims me as His own without shame. I see Him as a Knight. He was a man once and in that state He fought Hell and Death for Me. He won and we can be together now. He did it all for the Glory of Love.

Image:

IMBD: http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0087538/

 

 

His Life is Mine

And mine is His. This is the real circle of Life. The kind of completeness that makes our existence come alive. Some of my previous posts, may not always sound like it because I’m opening up about my struggles, but I don’t regularly crawl through life. He does Glorify Himself to me and around me.  I would not want to minimize His Love and Life by only writing about the difficult times. This is why I wanted to highlight this passage.  He said,””If you love me, keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate to help you and be with you forever the Spirit of Truth…He lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you… Because I live, you also will live.”

John: 14-15-19

I am going to claim that Promise because Jesus said it in Loving Comfort. He completely understands the struggle here on earth. If He had only surrendered His Life to ensure my salvation, that alone would have been more than I could ask for. But, His Plan is intricately orchestrated. He wants to ensure that I will be joined with Him forever. So, He covered all the bases. What He is saying is: My Father and I have paid for your passage to Heaven because we’re in love with you. But, we aren’t taking any chances, so here is our Spirit. Why? Because His Love = Life. His Spirit is Love and it fulfills us. True Life not just in the future, but today. Right now. I know. I was spiritually useless before He came and got me. A pile of broken pieces that He salvaged. I’ve shared some of my history here. I rarely share about my current life but I will tell you today, that I am a mom. I have 3 sons. One is 15. I am trying to insert myself in his life for his spiritual benefit, so I go to his church youth group on Wed. The idea to involve myself this way came from a study of Agape Love that I did with a valuable friend. They challenged me to live it out.  I thought I could help somehow but I never had a plan. I just showed up. That first night, the Youth Minister asked me to fill in as a discussion group facilitator. That was 2 mo ago. Immediately, those kids owned me. They have opened up to me and to each other. I don’t know why it was so seamless and so easy for them and for me. I just am who I am and they accept and love me and I love those kids. Last night, I saw the Glory of God in that. When they shared their lives, I was transported to that time when we are helpless and subject to the direction and power of our parents. Trying to navigate as a teen and dealing with difficulty at home. Even if your parents are followers.  Family is hard. I felt a great amount of empathy. So, I shared my history and as awkward as it was initially, it opened up the discussion to the deep places we all want to go. The heart issues that need to be voiced and that need compassion and understanding. That was exactly what they demonstrated to each other. In that space, we all were alive. So, yes, He repurposed me and -all Praise is His- because in spite of Me, I now Live because He Lives.

Love Always???

The Power of Prayer

I believe. I pray. I believe when I pray. I pray what I believe. And sometimes, I just pray for what I know is impossible and maybe, unreasonable. I am going to continue to do that even when it looks futile. But, truthfully, I’m not going to be 100% this way all through life. Historically, I’ve been spiritually way laid intermittently. Falling off the tracks made prayer an exertion and sometimes, an absent piece of my life. Devotion couldn’t describe my prayer connection to Him. But, it completely describes His toward me. The channel is never closed. If there is hindrance, it’s because I introduce it. For 4 weeks, I’ve had prayer block. I was praying, but I was not completely connected. I really wanted to, but I put something else in the primary place in my heart. What I wanted, versus Him. I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t see with the eyes of my heart, that HE is what I want. I started reading The Real God with a friend. They hoped we could know Him through this book. The first 2 Chapters seemed elementary. I wasn’t moved. But Chapter 3 broke some of that block. I can’t describe it or explain it in any way that could honor Him enough, but He arrived. He made Himself known and His Presence accompanied me that day. (Monday) Yesterday, driving home from work,  I found a place to park and I just looked up at His clouds. Even though He had not left me, I felt Him even more. He sent me a message without words. He said His Love is like no other. Whatever I have been looking for on earth I will only ever find in Him. The wants haven’t disappeared, but His Peace helps soften the sharpness. And I can see His Love repairing the brokenness that I just couldn’t heal. It probably won’t be a fast fix. I don’t even know if it will ever be gone. Heart and Soul get invested and it requires Him to help redirect. I did say yesterday that I handed over my Heart and He holds it. None of this happened without outside prayers. I have priceless friends who prayed, and others who also texted, and emailed to help me know how much I was on their heart. I am never alone fighting to stay in sync with Him. He was fighting for me. And He sent the Calvary.

Love Always❤❤❤

You Are My Joy Even If…

I hesitated yesterday. I had a pause moment thinking about all that is in my life and that which is not. I was feeling that worry and grief erode the confidence I have in His Love. That is a terrible way to feel because I unplugged from His Heart, a little lost in that place. But, He just won’t let me. He is my Hero and He doesn’t cave in to my weaknesses. He’s just going to Love in excess during those moments.  Which is exactly what He did. I was feeling that overflow during my quiet time with Him and then when He went on a run with me later. I knew He had my heart in His Hands. I was realizing, if He has my heart, He won’t drop it, or forget it. He won’t displace it, or devalue it. He is the only One who will keep it completely safe. I want Him to have it.  I just keep jacking it up, so I need to hand it over. I envisioned giving it up and seeing Him take it under His Wing. It seems melodramatic, but for me, I have to view Him like this. It gave me peace and comforted me even though the reasons for the worry and grief were still very real and true. This morning, I heard this new song by Mercy Me. It captured every emotion I had. Maybe, it will minister to you the way it did to Me. ❤❤❤❤

 

“Even If”

They say sometimes you win some

Sometimes you lose some

And right now, right now

I’m losing bad

I’ve stood on this stage night after night

Reminding the broken it’ll be alright

But right now, oh right now I just can’t

It’s easy to sing

When there’s nothing to bring me down

But what will I say

When I’m held to the flame

Like I am right now

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

They say it only takes a little faith

To move a mountain

Good thing

A little faith is all I have right now

But God, when You choose

To leave mountains unmovable

Give me the strength to be able to sing

It is well with my soul

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good

All of my days

Jesus, I will cling to You

Come what may

‘Cause I know You’re able

I know You can

I know You’re able and I know You can

Save through the fire with Your mighty hand

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

I know the sorrow, and I know the hurt

Would all go away if You’d just say the word

But even if You don’t

My hope is You alone

It is well with my soul

It is well, it is well with my soul

 

Love = Life

This is my anomaly picture. It isn’t consistent with all the other images I post. My intent was to letter this saying.But, I haven’t had time yet and I really like the quote.  I am in love with this saying. The simplicity captures life’s complexity and condenses it into the most profound meaning. I am going to look at my week through these words. If I bring love into dead and dark, life can exist. Love can show up as any good thing that I do or say strictly for the benefit of another and the glory of God. If I’m open, He won’t hesitate to give me the opportunity or the resources.  I really believe that. Tomorrow is Tuesday, so I have 5 days left in the week.  I am going to gamble some Love and see what happens. The return is a safe bet because it will produce Life.

Love Always???

Let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 1 John 4:7

(Ignore my bad photography skills that caught my camera in the mirror ?)

 

 

Truth and Dare

This is so obviously a Divine Dare. And I have concurrent emotions in response to it. My heart trusts that I will absolutely know that His Words are Truth if I live them out. That trust came into being because of His relentless Love that pursued me. Originating with His Sacrifice and continuing with every single effort He has made to demonstrate how He feels. But, I also have my persistent human derived feelings of misguided self-worth. My spiritual mind knows His words are urging me to accept the challenge so that He can reveal all that I need to know about real Love and Truth. But then my earthly mind instigates feelings of failure based on the past. Especially in the area of relationships. If I could redo some things, I would. I really wish I could. I long for a do over to rectify and put things as they were. But regret is a dead end. Even now, those mistakes can’t nullify the promise He is making. That I can truly experience great love by “laying down my life for my friends ” John 15:13, that “forgiveness is possible” Luke 23:33 “that Jesus and God love me completely”John 15:9  If I hold to His teachings and actually obey them,  He is guaranteeing that it will yield direct understanding and revelation of Himself. Everything He desires for me to know about His Loving Plans for my life. I definitely want to know so that the lies based on this life are eradicated. Especially today as I began to feel the burden and loss. What do I do? I listen to Him in spite of my emotions. Emotions that He completely understands but doesn’t want to disable me. His Promise is so much greater than what I’m feeling right now.  I’m just going to lay down my heart and do what He says. His words won’t fail to come true.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.” Psalm 62:5